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I guess I'm going home soon...but isn't Florence home?

Giovedi, 17 Decembre 2009 1:10, Via della Colonna, Firenze, Italia.

In Atlanta, Georgia, Wednesday, December 16, 2009 7:10 PM.

I hate goodbyes. I loathe them. I put them off as long as possible. (“No worries! We’ll see each other again before the semester is over!”) Most times, I avoid them entirely, usually receiving a phone or text message later: “Emily! We didn’t get to actually say good-bye in person!”

“No worries,” I will always respond. “It isn’t like we won’t see each other again. I love you!”

That’s the problem with studying abroad. I’ve said goodbyes already today..and I’ve said them to people that I will most likely never see again. I have said goodbye for probably the last time to people that have been extremely important figures in my life for the past four months. Suddenly, as if out of nowhere, they are gone.  Sure, some of these people have facebooks. But some of them don’t.  And even if they do, that probably won’t make much of a difference.

Gia left while I was still taking my Italian final. She gave me a hug, told me she loved me, and left. I still hadn’t even finished my exam, didn’t get to hug her properly. Amy left after the cooking final. That girl and I clicked. We’ve gone to lunch and talk and discuss our personal lives…this time tomorrow she’ll be back in San Diego, and I’ll still be here, fixing to go home to the complete opposite side of our country.

It’s finally starting to sink in.

When you apply to study abroad, you think about saying goodbye to your friends and family at home, but you don’t expect to make new ones, incorporate them into your circle, and then have to say goodbye for good.

I don’t like it. Non mi piace.

Now it’s past 1:00 AM. I’m finished with my exams, and I’m avoiding going to bed because when I wake up, I have to finish packing before seeing Roberto one last time, before being forced to say another real goodbye, before admitting to myself that I have to walk away yet again.

My problem would be solved if teleportation was an option. Just saying.

Ciao, y’all.